Friday, November 25, 2011

SORRY seems to be........................

when i was a child i always fight with my little sister.
we quarrel a lot and we even hit each other's head.
and then hurt each other.  
sometimes i win,
sometimes my sister win.
sometimes we both lose. 
 after a fight, we did not talk for about two hours and then we act like nothing ever happened.
like everything just fine.
no SORRY word. 

but as we grow up, we quarrel and the two hour became two days..
but still, we manage to pass it without saying sorry.

when it comes to my family, we don't need to say sorry.
enough if we know that we are wrong and express it.
maybe because sorry is the hardest word to do. 

i believe you guys know this song right??

is it true that to pronoun the word SORRY is the hardest to things to do?
or is it to admit that we are wrong is the hardest things to do?

some people are just so hard to admit their fault even when it obviously their fault.
and then they tend to somethings that we are all good at
 'pretend like nothing happened'
and some people are just so ego to just apologize first and keep waiting the other side to make a first move.
they keep saying
"why do i have to apologize first? it's obviously their fault maa!"

well, i am on the ego side too..i never say sorry first if i think i am on right side.
as human we always want to win.
let's the offenders admit their fault first.
and then we win!!!

 but let's do something different today,shall we??
let's go and say sorry to whoever you've quarrel or fight with.
doesn't matter who's fault is it.

maybe we'll get various answer.
"that's not your entirely fault"
"yeah, let's just forgive each other"
"i forgive you"
or maybe
"i am sorry too"
either way, it's still leads you to somethings good isn't it?

so, don't be afraid to admit your fault or saying sorry.
who knows, the word sorry might make your day even brighter than yesterday.

l i l i e 

Saturday, November 19, 2011

Bad Friends Forever, still BFF.

have you ever met this kind of friend?

she pretend to compliment you but she has other intention.
i have.. in my life I've found this kind of friend twice..

 we are washing our hands together after eating but then we found out that we are running out of tissue.
and then suddenly this friend touch my skirt and compliment it.
"wow, your skirt is so beautiful"
that's sounds funny because i know she didn't mean it. 
i mean i wear the same skirt almost every weeks and she's with me every weeks and suddenly she's acting like it was her first time seeing it. 
well,i know she only want to wipe her wet hands on my skirt.
GOSH! at that time i was pissed but i couldn't say a thing because i know if i start saying something it would be scolding and cursing!
so i said to myself 
"let's just forget it, i can always do the same thing to her next time"
i know it was just a small matter but i really hate it when people try to take an advantage on me.
especially my friend. 

also when i was in high school i met this friend named NINA DOBREV (bukan nama sebenar..keke) 

she often forgot her pencil's box so she always borrow mine. 
and then one day as usual she borrowed my pen and gave me the same reason she gave me yesterday and the day after.
"i forgot my pencil box.....................again... "
in the beginning i believe her so, i lend her my pen to her but then it's been like a month she didn't bring her pencil's box and i started to query. 
hmmmmmmmmmm....................... something's wrong!
out of high curiosity, i checked her drawer when she's not around. 
(devil! keke)
and i found her pencil's box in her drawer!!!!
and then i suddenly remembered she said it earlier that she want to save her pen's ink for the exam. 
errr.. exam?? 
and then i was like 
"exam are 5 months away.. is she planning to use my pens for another 5 months??"
i didn't say anything to her despite our friendship.
but i am a cold hearted back then, so the next day i bring only one pen. 
i told her i forgot my pencil box too.. 
HAHA.. kedekut owh kan.. 

now the good things is that, they are still my friends now. 
and i still love them much.
one of them are even on my BFF list! 

see, i have a 
good friend, boring friend, forever-immatured friend, funny friend, annoying friend, miss know-it-all-yeah-yeah friend, sulky friend, moody-every-morning friend, curse-all-day friend, many-piercing friend, and even life-is-all-about-beauty friend. fuh, so many!
and they all have their own weaknesses.
they snore, fart infront of food, doing some stupid things, bullying each other, take advantage on you, and make you feel burdened, sleepless the whole night, making some stupid noise while you are sleeping but as long as they try their best to be your friend isn't it enough?? 
maybe some of them are even talking behind your back but they still stay beside you when you're in trouble and still hug you when you need them. 
nobody is perfect! 
even myself aren't perfect.
i am the hot-tempered+avengeful kind of friend.  
i get angry over some silly things. 
but they still accept me as their friend. 

and i believe you have weaknesses too.. 
so, how can you expect to have a perfect friend when you yourself are not perfect?? :)

being unperfect doesn't mean they can't be a best-friend.
BEST-FRIEND is a friend who can accept their friend's weaknesses. 
trust me, you gonna miss their imperfection someday... :)

but careful, jangan salah pilih kawan.. :)

yes, i am a silent grudge person. so, don't mess! ahahahaha.. JK!

l i l i e

Wednesday, November 9, 2011


hai guys,
this is suppose to be a very short entry since i'll be having my first paper next monday.
even saya tidak study tapi masih rasa bersalah masa mo buat ni entry. ahaha..
will visit you guys back after i finish my exam k. :)

ok.. I've been listening to this song lately over and over.
i already share it on my FB wall and i think i should share this on my blog too.. :)
this song has a deep meaning about life.
it been playing on one of the funeral in PRETTY LITTLE LIARS season 2.
so, if you watch the show this song should be familiar to you. :)
(yeah, saya rasa bersalah juga tengok PLL masa exam tapi apa buli buat.. haha)
gosh,i love the show!!
so, jom layan..


Trent Dabbs & Ruby Amanfu

I'm a broken soul, I'm an open book.
With many torn out pages.
And I walk through fire, but I thirst for truth.
For what I've never tasted.
And it calls to me again.
The comfort of the sin.

Turn our eyes away, turn our eyes away.
From this path we've taken, washing clean our faces.
Turn our eyes away, turn our eyes away.
Leaning on the hope that, one day, even we.
Oh, one day, even we will be saved.

I got a war inside, with a flag in hand.
I'll wait to cry surrender.
While the pride in me, is fighting who I am.
Why is it that I linger?
I guess every man decides to take or save a life.

Turn our eyes away, turn our eyes away.
From this path we've taken, washing clean our faces.
Turn our eyes away, turn our eyes away.
Leaning on the hope that, one day, even we.
Oh, one day, even we will be saved.


We must turn our eyes away, turn our eyes away,
From this path we've taken, washing clean our faces.
Turn our eyes away, turn our eyes away.
Leaning on the hope that, one day, even we.
Oh, one day, even we will be saved.

One day, even we will be saved.


l i l i e s. j o h n

Friday, November 4, 2011


i have big crush before with my classmate L. 
he is not handsome nor cute, not also tall.
but i like him because of his jokes.
L make me laugh a lot and i love being around him. 
he is also a good listener to begin with and a good adviser.
i can comfortably tell him about my problem and everything.
as i started to like L, i learned that L already have someone else/GF.
so sad.
but after few month i heard that L broke up with his girl so i try so hard to win him.
well, obviously L only see me as a good friend.
but i never gave up.
at the same time L's roommate, P confess to me and i accept it, why?
because of a stupid reason.
so , i can ask P (my boyfriend at that time) everything about L.
what he do, where he went and all.
at first P did not suspect me.
guess my acting skills is amazing at that time.
but soon P began to suspect me and i have to end the relationship cruelly before any unwanted thing happen.
after that, i got the courage to confess to L about my feelings and he accepted me.
so happy!

but my happiness didn't last for too long.
two weeks after that he began to ignore me.
not replying the text and not answering the call.
 clearly, he's avoiding me!! 
i don't know why.
i tried to text him so many time but he never reply me.
in class, the situation gets really awkward between us.
we do not talk or sit together.
i keep rejecting other guys that came into my life after that. 
i don't know why, maybe deep inside my heart i still hope that L will contact me one day.
but soon, i realize that it was impossible.
i am not the patience kind of girl. 
5 months of waiting? 
ok, screw ya.

three years after that i suddenly receive a text from L.
it was quite shocking actually.
but then i replied him as a friend.
from one text to another. 
but i don't really interested to have a long conversation with him.
only replying if i feel like it's appropriate to do so
i mean whatever happened between us, he is still my ex-classmate and used to be a good friend of mine.
he keep sending me texts since then asking how's my day or if i've eaten.
 like every single minute. even if i don't reply him. he keeps texting me. 
and then i get tired of this unstoppable text.
so, i reply one of his message asking him what is actually he want from me. 
 L said he want to know if i still love him.
i don't answer him instead i ask him what is actually happened three years ago.
L told me he found out about the relationship between me and P.
so, he feel bad for his roommate about our relationship.
i guess thats what we called karma. 
i leave his roommate without a strong reason and he did the same to me. :)
He admitted his mistake and ask if i can give him a second chance.

"everyone deserve a second chance. can you just give our relationship a second chance?"

i was quite for a while trying to find a good words to reply him,

" yes, i believe everyone deserve a second chance. but our relationship never had a chance at the first place. so, how can i give it a second chance?"

i never blame him for leaving me.
70% of it was actually my fault.
the other 20% is fate.
and 10% of it was wrong timing.
and it's about time to move on.

life is karma. 
how people treat you is your karma, how you react is theirs.
we sow what we reap,we reap what we sow. 
what goes around comes around.

yes, everyone deserve a second chance, except HITLER.

remember guys,
woman's feeling toward man also has an expired date.
once you pass the date, don't ever try to eat it.
because if you insist then be prepared for a heartache. 

if someone you love hurts you, cry a river,build a bridge and get over it!
because every breath you take proves that you can live without him/her.

the story was adapted from somewhere deep down memory lane. :p


l i l i e j o h n

Friday, October 28, 2011

clinic cafe.

ok, post pendek. 
last time LILIE and the gang went to penang..again. 
yes, i've been to penang a few time actually but to be honest this is the first time i went to CLINIC CAFE.
it was in Gurney Plaza at Penang. 
since we all are paramedic-to-be so we are very excited to be there. 
enjoy the photo and happy belated Deepavali. keke
the entrance of the cafe.
this is how the cafe look like. i like the theme color. RED and WHITE. he he


we sit on this side. he he

this is the surgery room's lamp. 

macam buat experiment. he he 

various kind of chemical liquid.keke


makan bersama kidney dish and gallipot. kekeke


at Batu Ferringhi Penang. :)

can you see the sign up there. it says Muzium Toy Terbesar Di DUNIA??? tia tau la betul ka tidak tapi lepas baca ni,kami semua dalam kereta, "cepat pusing,cepat pusing. largest toy muzium in the world. wajib masuk!!" RIBUT..haha

the toys store.

if you went to penang, BUKIT BENDERA is a MUST to go. you can see how Penang look like from the BUKIT. kami sampai sana lambat. malam suda. penang at night is beautiful but then it's raining!!!!  i think better you go before the sunset la... hehehe..

banyak gambar di Penang tapi saya malas mo upload. you can see more on my friend's blog, oyeniyrid arr bukan oyenization. he he

l i l i e s. j o h n

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

beautifully imperfect.

my father is the most stubborn guy I've ever seen. 
he always want us to behave according to his will.
once we disobey he can be a monster! 
okay monster is too much. 
once we disobey he can be THE HULK! 

when i was 5 the most scarier person for me is my father. 
my father has the big RATTAN that he hung on the wall to remind us not to do something bad.
once we make mistake he would take the rattan and hit us.
uh, that was painful.

but as i grow up, my father didn't use rattan to us any longer.
i remember i quarrel with him when i was 15. 
see, i am as stubborn as he is.
ke mana tumpahnya kuah kan? hehe..
both side are so stubborn and it continued like that for a month.
can you imagine, i didn't talk to my father for a month!
i don't remember how we finally ended the world war,
but i remember my mother was the most worried person about the fight.
she said, it's hard to persuade both of us to talk first since both of us are equally stubborn.
keras kepala+keras kepala= macam ni lah. 

when i was 17, i got another fight with my father.
he was so angry with me until he broke my brother's game-toy.
my father has a very bad tempered. 
but i got lucky since my father never hit me after i enter high school.
he never hit a person when he was angry actually but everything beside him always became the victim of his tempered.
coincidentally, that day my little brother's game-toy was beside him and you know the rest of the story.
but the good thing is the next morning my father brought a new game-toy for my brother.:)
(thanks to me for that okay. he he)

i always quarrel with my family member.
my sisters,my brother,my mother and my father.
to be honest we never say apologize to each other after the fight.
like,today we fight but the next morning we are laughing together again.
there's no need to say sorry.
and that's what family is. 

this video remind me of my father.
my father has the loudest snore in our family.
loud enough to make you feel so annoyed sometimes. 
now, i live miles away from my father and it makes me realize that even with his imperfections i still don't want to miss a moment with him. 

l i l i e  s. j o h n 

Monday, October 10, 2011

the nature of a woman

I was walking down the street when I was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless woman who asked me for a couple of 
dollars for dinner.I took out my wallet, got out ten dollars and asked, 
“If I give you this money, will you buy wine with it instead of dinner?”
“No, I had to stop drinking years ago,” 
the homeless woman told me.
“Will you use it to go shopping instead of buying food?” 
I asked.
“No, I don’t waste time shopping,” 
the homeless woman said. 
“I need to

 spend all my time trying to stay alive.”
“Will you spend this on a beauty salon instead of food?” 
I asked.
“Are you NUTS!!” 
replied the homeless woman. 
“I haven’t had my hair 
done in 20 years!”
“Well,” I said, “I’m not going to give you the money. Instead, I’m going to take you out for dinner with myhusband and me tonight.” 
The homeless woman was shocked. 
“Won’t your husband be furious with 
you for doing that? I know I’m dirty, and I probably smell pretty 
I said, 
“That’s okay. It’s important for him to see what a woman looks

 like after she has given up shopping, hair appointments, and wine.”

i am not trying to say that woman should go shopping, make her hair done and drink WINE! 
there's certain things in woman that a man should never ask them to give up on. or else it will become worst!
that's the real message.. he he
cerita di kopi pes dari mr.GOOGLE
l i l i e

Thursday, September 29, 2011

my sketch collection!

hai guys!! last time i read some posts from aemy and aki
they talk about an activity during boring lesson. 
AEMY with her ZOMBIE kampung pisang and AKI with his beach view. 
i remember i had a sketch book that i always bring to my class before. 
i did enjoy sketching since i'm in primary school. 
probably because i read too many MANGA's book back then. sketching help me to prevent myself from sleeping during class most if the time. 
that's why i always bring my sketch book to class.
i know i'm not really good in sketching but i really love to show you guys this little collection of mine. :)

i actually dreamt of becoming a fashion designer once. it's good thing that i decided to just forget that. ha ha
i love hood!
again with the fashion designer thing!
fashion designer thing



18sx owh.. lupa mo censor td. aiyaa.. 
the girls aside

mother and child
sexy lips

not my parent. my Bestfriend's parent actually. he ask me to sketch his parent but  when i show him this he was like "who the hell is that? " ha ha.. mission fail!!

faces 1

my friend, Osheeta Nivea William! hmm, actually i tried to sketch her but  it's too difficult to sketch people's face!! 

woman love curl

big smile!

tried to sketch someone's faces again. i don't remember who's this.. i can't recall even after i saw this.. ha ha

the waiting bride!

again, the failure! somebody please teach me how sketch people's face!

man's faces is the hardest things to sketch for me! i've tried so hard but gosh! why does it still look like a girl's face! my friend said it look like drug-queen!



di celah-celah nota sempat juga lukis..
so many isn't it?? yeah lor, saya pun terkazut, when i checked my skecth book just now i was like 
"woah, so many owh, apa yang saya belajar di kelas selama ni? no wonder la pointer rendah!" 

bah, that's all la.. 
good night everyone!! 

hugs and kisses,
l i l i e s. j o h n

Friday, September 23, 2011

yes, i am nerd and i am proud of it!!


once upon a time (2 years ago kali tu), my course-mate told me that one of her friend was in the same high school with me.
and she also told me that the friend saw my picture in her lappy and she said the friend was like,

" eiiii.. this girl pandai suda bergaya owh. she's so nerd back in high school, with her glasses and her hairstyle. geng-geng dia semua nerd tu.. "

and i was like.. "huh?? well, yeah maybe.. who is that the girl again?"

the negative me,
1.who's that girl? did i know her? which class is she? owh i remember this girl. she's the girl next-next class. i don't even remember her class. and by the way. she's no difference. also with her glasses and her hairstyle back then?? ponytail juga pun tu.. plus, is there actually a student who go to school with fashion? because from what i saw, the school uniform look all the and white.. and the hair must be tied! lain lah kalau di indon, rambutnya boleh di hurai-hurai donk.. free hair gitu..

2.geng-geng saya semua nerd back then but they are all now in a good career bah.. yours??

the positive one,

1."thank goodness!! people remember me back then.
i have this myopia since form three but didn't wear glasses until form 4 because i hate glasses actually (berat bah). i started wearing glasses when i am in form four but limited only when the teacher started her lesson. so, except if you are my classmate, you will never know that i am actually wearing glasses at that time..
and surprisingly this girl was never in the same class with me and still! she remember me wearing glasses!! is she actually my secret fan back then? ha ha.. kidding. the last word was a joke! keke..

2. saya pandai bergaya!!!! from schematic girl to "pandai begaya"! tidak sia-sia saya tengok majalah fashion. at least there's someone notice how "bergaya" i am. i am actually afraid people said i am a fashion disaster!! sumandak bah.. mestilah mo begaya sikit-sikit kan.. kekeke.. thank you for the 'compliment' girl who ever you are.. hehe

3. "apa? ko skema dulu?? pakai spek?" "ya, and i am proud of it!"
nerd is cool what!!  he he
this spectacle was inspired from nerd people! cool isn't it?

nerd style!
Add caption
nerd=striped cardigan +high waisted short + white pulled up +hat with the brims folede up + round collered shirts + loafers + oversized or black rimmed glasses.

rock the nerd babeh!

if there's someone call you nerd back then, don't get angry!! think positive.. nerd isn't always the bad thing.. nerd is cool when you make it cool babeh!!

nah, ambil ko spek paling besar!!

l i l i e s. j o h n