Friday, November 25, 2011

SORRY seems to be........................

when i was a child i always fight with my little sister.
we quarrel a lot and we even hit each other's head.
and then hurt each other.  
sometimes i win,
sometimes my sister win.
sometimes we both lose. 
 after a fight, we did not talk for about two hours and then we act like nothing ever happened.
like everything just fine.
no SORRY word. 

but as we grow up, we quarrel and the two hour became two days..
but still, we manage to pass it without saying sorry.

when it comes to my family, we don't need to say sorry.
enough if we know that we are wrong and express it.
maybe because sorry is the hardest word to do. 

i believe you guys know this song right??

is it true that to pronoun the word SORRY is the hardest to things to do?
or is it to admit that we are wrong is the hardest things to do?

some people are just so hard to admit their fault even when it obviously their fault.
and then they tend to somethings that we are all good at
 'pretend like nothing happened'
and some people are just so ego to just apologize first and keep waiting the other side to make a first move.
they keep saying
"why do i have to apologize first? it's obviously their fault maa!"

well, i am on the ego side too..i never say sorry first if i think i am on right side.
as human we always want to win.
let's the offenders admit their fault first.
and then we win!!!

 but let's do something different today,shall we??
let's go and say sorry to whoever you've quarrel or fight with.
doesn't matter who's fault is it.

maybe we'll get various answer.
"that's not your entirely fault"
"yeah, let's just forgive each other"
"i forgive you"
or maybe
"i am sorry too"
either way, it's still leads you to somethings good isn't it?

so, don't be afraid to admit your fault or saying sorry.
who knows, the word sorry might make your day even brighter than yesterday.

l i l i e 

Saturday, November 19, 2011

Bad Friends Forever, still BFF.

have you ever met this kind of friend?

she pretend to compliment you but she has other intention.
i have.. in my life I've found this kind of friend twice..

 we are washing our hands together after eating but then we found out that we are running out of tissue.
and then suddenly this friend touch my skirt and compliment it.
"wow, your skirt is so beautiful"
that's sounds funny because i know she didn't mean it. 
i mean i wear the same skirt almost every weeks and she's with me every weeks and suddenly she's acting like it was her first time seeing it. 
well,i know she only want to wipe her wet hands on my skirt.
GOSH! at that time i was pissed but i couldn't say a thing because i know if i start saying something it would be scolding and cursing!
so i said to myself 
"let's just forget it, i can always do the same thing to her next time"
i know it was just a small matter but i really hate it when people try to take an advantage on me.
especially my friend. 

also when i was in high school i met this friend named NINA DOBREV (bukan nama sebenar..keke) 

she often forgot her pencil's box so she always borrow mine. 
and then one day as usual she borrowed my pen and gave me the same reason she gave me yesterday and the day after.
"i forgot my pencil box.....................again... "
in the beginning i believe her so, i lend her my pen to her but then it's been like a month she didn't bring her pencil's box and i started to query. 
hmmmmmmmmmm....................... something's wrong!
out of high curiosity, i checked her drawer when she's not around. 
(devil! keke)
and i found her pencil's box in her drawer!!!!
and then i suddenly remembered she said it earlier that she want to save her pen's ink for the exam. 
errr.. exam?? 
and then i was like 
"exam are 5 months away.. is she planning to use my pens for another 5 months??"
i didn't say anything to her despite our friendship.
but i am a cold hearted back then, so the next day i bring only one pen. 
i told her i forgot my pencil box too.. 
HAHA.. kedekut owh kan.. 

now the good things is that, they are still my friends now. 
and i still love them much.
one of them are even on my BFF list! 

see, i have a 
good friend, boring friend, forever-immatured friend, funny friend, annoying friend, miss know-it-all-yeah-yeah friend, sulky friend, moody-every-morning friend, curse-all-day friend, many-piercing friend, and even life-is-all-about-beauty friend. fuh, so many!
and they all have their own weaknesses.
they snore, fart infront of food, doing some stupid things, bullying each other, take advantage on you, and make you feel burdened, sleepless the whole night, making some stupid noise while you are sleeping but as long as they try their best to be your friend isn't it enough?? 
maybe some of them are even talking behind your back but they still stay beside you when you're in trouble and still hug you when you need them. 
nobody is perfect! 
even myself aren't perfect.
i am the hot-tempered+avengeful kind of friend.  
i get angry over some silly things. 
but they still accept me as their friend. 

and i believe you have weaknesses too.. 
so, how can you expect to have a perfect friend when you yourself are not perfect?? :)

being unperfect doesn't mean they can't be a best-friend.
BEST-FRIEND is a friend who can accept their friend's weaknesses. 
trust me, you gonna miss their imperfection someday... :)

but careful, jangan salah pilih kawan.. :)

yes, i am a silent grudge person. so, don't mess! ahahahaha.. JK!

l i l i e

Wednesday, November 9, 2011


hai guys,
this is suppose to be a very short entry since i'll be having my first paper next monday.
even saya tidak study tapi masih rasa bersalah masa mo buat ni entry. ahaha..
will visit you guys back after i finish my exam k. :)

ok.. I've been listening to this song lately over and over.
i already share it on my FB wall and i think i should share this on my blog too.. :)
this song has a deep meaning about life.
it been playing on one of the funeral in PRETTY LITTLE LIARS season 2.
so, if you watch the show this song should be familiar to you. :)
(yeah, saya rasa bersalah juga tengok PLL masa exam tapi apa buli buat.. haha)
gosh,i love the show!!
so, jom layan..


Trent Dabbs & Ruby Amanfu

I'm a broken soul, I'm an open book.
With many torn out pages.
And I walk through fire, but I thirst for truth.
For what I've never tasted.
And it calls to me again.
The comfort of the sin.

Turn our eyes away, turn our eyes away.
From this path we've taken, washing clean our faces.
Turn our eyes away, turn our eyes away.
Leaning on the hope that, one day, even we.
Oh, one day, even we will be saved.

I got a war inside, with a flag in hand.
I'll wait to cry surrender.
While the pride in me, is fighting who I am.
Why is it that I linger?
I guess every man decides to take or save a life.

Turn our eyes away, turn our eyes away.
From this path we've taken, washing clean our faces.
Turn our eyes away, turn our eyes away.
Leaning on the hope that, one day, even we.
Oh, one day, even we will be saved.


We must turn our eyes away, turn our eyes away,
From this path we've taken, washing clean our faces.
Turn our eyes away, turn our eyes away.
Leaning on the hope that, one day, even we.
Oh, one day, even we will be saved.

One day, even we will be saved.


l i l i e s. j o h n

Friday, November 4, 2011


i have big crush before with my classmate L. 
he is not handsome nor cute, not also tall.
but i like him because of his jokes.
L make me laugh a lot and i love being around him. 
he is also a good listener to begin with and a good adviser.
i can comfortably tell him about my problem and everything.
as i started to like L, i learned that L already have someone else/GF.
so sad.
but after few month i heard that L broke up with his girl so i try so hard to win him.
well, obviously L only see me as a good friend.
but i never gave up.
at the same time L's roommate, P confess to me and i accept it, why?
because of a stupid reason.
so , i can ask P (my boyfriend at that time) everything about L.
what he do, where he went and all.
at first P did not suspect me.
guess my acting skills is amazing at that time.
but soon P began to suspect me and i have to end the relationship cruelly before any unwanted thing happen.
after that, i got the courage to confess to L about my feelings and he accepted me.
so happy!

but my happiness didn't last for too long.
two weeks after that he began to ignore me.
not replying the text and not answering the call.
 clearly, he's avoiding me!! 
i don't know why.
i tried to text him so many time but he never reply me.
in class, the situation gets really awkward between us.
we do not talk or sit together.
i keep rejecting other guys that came into my life after that. 
i don't know why, maybe deep inside my heart i still hope that L will contact me one day.
but soon, i realize that it was impossible.
i am not the patience kind of girl. 
5 months of waiting? 
ok, screw ya.

three years after that i suddenly receive a text from L.
it was quite shocking actually.
but then i replied him as a friend.
from one text to another. 
but i don't really interested to have a long conversation with him.
only replying if i feel like it's appropriate to do so
i mean whatever happened between us, he is still my ex-classmate and used to be a good friend of mine.
he keep sending me texts since then asking how's my day or if i've eaten.
 like every single minute. even if i don't reply him. he keeps texting me. 
and then i get tired of this unstoppable text.
so, i reply one of his message asking him what is actually he want from me. 
 L said he want to know if i still love him.
i don't answer him instead i ask him what is actually happened three years ago.
L told me he found out about the relationship between me and P.
so, he feel bad for his roommate about our relationship.
i guess thats what we called karma. 
i leave his roommate without a strong reason and he did the same to me. :)
He admitted his mistake and ask if i can give him a second chance.

"everyone deserve a second chance. can you just give our relationship a second chance?"

i was quite for a while trying to find a good words to reply him,

" yes, i believe everyone deserve a second chance. but our relationship never had a chance at the first place. so, how can i give it a second chance?"

i never blame him for leaving me.
70% of it was actually my fault.
the other 20% is fate.
and 10% of it was wrong timing.
and it's about time to move on.

life is karma. 
how people treat you is your karma, how you react is theirs.
we sow what we reap,we reap what we sow. 
what goes around comes around.

yes, everyone deserve a second chance, except HITLER.

remember guys,
woman's feeling toward man also has an expired date.
once you pass the date, don't ever try to eat it.
because if you insist then be prepared for a heartache. 

if someone you love hurts you, cry a river,build a bridge and get over it!
because every breath you take proves that you can live without him/her.

the story was adapted from somewhere deep down memory lane. :p


l i l i e j o h n