quote :-)

Life is too short to wake up with regrets.

i don't want to wake up every morning with regret so everything happened in the past is past. 

let's leave all the dark side and look for the bright side.

tomorrow is brand new day. 

it should not be the same as today. 

i promise. :-)

 So love the people who treat you right.

to my parent, thanks for loving me.

to my sisters and brother, sorry for all the argument/fighting. (there will be more to come)

to my faithful friend, thanks for always standing next to me.

to anyone who always treated me nice even on my worst, thanks you.

i promise, i'll do better from now on.

 Forgive the ones who don’t.

to anyone who've done wrong thing to me, worst or not, i forgive you all.

 Believe everything happens for a reason.

everything happens for a reason,if it's a good things then consider it as blessing.
but if its a bad thing then consider it as a lesson.

accept the fact that not everything will go as you've planned.
but it will always be a blessing in disguise!

don't judge people easily and learn how to let go of people doesn't deserved keeping.

:)

 If you get a chance, take it.

every problem is a chance to something, so take it!

 If it changes your life, let it. 

be open to new changes!

be more matured,

be more intelligent,

be more independent,

and be more me.

Nobody said life would be easy, they just promised it would most likely be worth it.

life is hard. 

but whatever happen, be it good or bad,

you always have time to change it and trust me it will be worth it someday! 

“Life is too short to wake up with regrets. 

So love the people who treat you

right. Forget about those who don’t. 

Believe everything happens for a reason. 

If you get a chance, take it. 

If it changes your life, let it. 

Nobody said life would be easy, they just promised it would most likely be worth it.”

peace no war.

XOXO,

l i l i e j o h n.

LOVE is WEIRD

THE GUY I WANT TO FALL IN LOVE WITH;

i want to fall in love with a strong guy.

so that i can always feel safe when i walk beside him.

i want to fall in love with a tall guy.

so that i can always look up when i feel insecure.

i want to fall in love with someone who have a bright smile.

so that i can always look for his smile everytime i feel down.

i want to fall in love with a cute guy.

so that i can always pinch his cheek whenever i lost get angry.

i want to fall in love with a handsome guy.

so, that i can always show you off to my friends when they're showing off theirs..

i want to fall in love with a romantic guy.

so that i can always be excitedly waiting for his surprise on my coming birthday.. 

i want to fall in love with someone who can play the guitar very well,

so that i can dance to the music everywhere i go.

and you,
you are the OPPOSITE of all above. 

but i'm still in love with you.. 

how weird LOVE can be?

:)

XOXO,

l i l i e j o h n

SORRY seems to be........................

when i was a child i always fight with my little sister.

we quarrel a lot and we even hit each other's head.
and then hurt each other.  

sometimes i win,

sometimes my sister win.
sometimes we both lose. 

 after a fight, we did not talk for about two hours and then we act like nothing ever happened.

like everything just fine.

no SORRY word. 

but as we grow up, we quarrel and the two hour became two days..

but still, we manage to pass it without saying sorry.

when it comes to my family, we don't need to say sorry.
enough if we know that we are wrong and express it.
maybe because sorry is the hardest word to do. 

SORRY SEEMS TO BE THE HARDEST WORD.

i believe you guys know this song right??

is it true that to pronoun the word SORRY is the hardest to things to do?
or is it to admit that we are wrong is the hardest things to do?

some people are just so hard to admit their fault even when it obviously their fault.
and then they tend to somethings that we are all good at
 'pretend like nothing happened'
and some people are just so ego to just apologize first and keep waiting the other side to make a first move.
they keep saying
"why do i have to apologize first? it's obviously their fault maa!"

well, i am on the ego side too..i never say sorry first if i think i am on right side.

as human we always want to win.
let's the offenders admit their fault first.
and then we win!!!

 but let's do something different today,shall we??
let's go and say sorry to whoever you've quarrel or fight with.
doesn't matter who's fault is it.

maybe we'll get various answer.
"that's not your entirely fault"
"yeah, let's just forgive each other"
"i forgive you"
or maybe
"i am sorry too"
either way, it's still leads you to somethings good isn't it?

so, don't be afraid to admit your fault or saying sorry.
who knows, the word sorry might make your day even brighter than yesterday.
:)

XOXO,

l i l i e 

KARMA,SECOND CHANCE,EXPIRED AND MOVE ON.

i have big crush before with my classmate L. 
he is not handsome nor cute, not also tall.
but i like him because of his jokes.
L make me laugh a lot and i love being around him. 
he is also a good listener to begin with and a good adviser.
i can comfortably tell him about my problem and everything.
as i started to like L, i learned that L already have someone else/GF.
so sad.

but after few month i heard that L broke up with his girl so i try so hard to win him.
well, obviously L only see me as a good friend.
but i never gave up.

at the same time L's roommate, P confess to me and i accept it, why?
because of a stupid reason.
so , i can ask P (my boyfriend at that time) everything about L.
what he do, where he went and all.
at first P did not suspect me.
guess my acting skills is amazing at that time.
but soon P began to suspect me and i have to end the relationship cruelly before any unwanted thing happen.

after that, i got the courage to confess to L about my feelings and he accepted me.
so happy!

but my happiness didn't last for too long.
two weeks after that he began to ignore me.
not replying the text and not answering the call.
 clearly, he's avoiding me!! 
i don't know why.
i tried to text him so many time but he never reply me.

in class, the situation gets really awkward between us.
we do not talk or sit together.
i keep rejecting other guys that came into my life after that. 

i don't know why, maybe deep inside my heart i still hope that L will contact me one day.
but soon, i realize that it was impossible.
i am not the patience kind of girl. 
5 months of waiting? 
ok, screw ya.

three years after that i suddenly receive a text from L.
it was quite shocking actually.
but then i replied him as a friend.
from one text to another. 
but i don't really interested to have a long conversation with him.
only replying if i feel like it's appropriate to do so
i mean whatever happened between us, he is still my ex-classmate and used to be a good friend of mine.
he keep sending me texts since then asking how's my day or if i've eaten.
 like every single minute. even if i don't reply him. he keeps texting me. 

and then i get tired of this unstoppable text.
so, i reply one of his message asking him what is actually he want from me. 
 L said he want to know if i still love him.

i don't answer him instead i ask him what is actually happened three years ago.

L told me he found out about the relationship between me and P.
so, he feel bad for his roommate about our relationship.

i guess thats what we called karma. 
i leave his roommate without a strong reason and he did the same to me. :)
LIFE is KARMA. 

He admitted his mistake and ask if i can give him a second chance.

"everyone deserve a second chance. can you just give our relationship a second chance?"

i was quite for a while trying to find a good words to reply him,

" yes, i believe everyone deserve a second chance. but our relationship never had a chance at the first place. so, how can i give it a second chance?"

i never blame him for leaving me.
70% of it was actually my fault.
the other 20% is fate.
and 10% of it was wrong timing.
and it's about time to move on.

life is karma. 

how people treat you is your karma, how you react is theirs.

we sow what we reap,we reap what we sow. 

what goes around comes around.

yes, everyone deserve a second chance, except HITLER.

aiseymen.

remember guys,

woman's feeling toward man also has an expired date.

once you pass the date, don't ever try to eat it.

because if you insist then be prepared for a heartache. 

if someone you love hurts you, cry a river,build a bridge and get over it!

because every breath you take proves that you can live without him/her.

the story was adapted from somewhere deep down memory lane. :p

XOXO,

l i l i e j o h n

beautifully imperfect.

my father is the most stubborn guy I've ever seen. 

he always want us to behave according to his will.

once we disobey he can be a monster! 

okay monster is too much. 

once we disobey he can be THE HULK! 

lariiiiiii!!!

when i was 5 the most scarier person for me is my father. 

my father has the big RATTAN that he hung on the wall to remind us not to do something bad.

once we make mistake he would take the rattan and hit us.

uh, that was painful.

but as i grow up, my father didn't use rattan to us any longer.

i remember i quarrel with him when i was 15. 

see, i am as stubborn as he is.

ke mana tumpahnya kuah kan? hehe..

both side are so stubborn and it continued like that for a month.

can you imagine, i didn't talk to my father for a month!

i don't remember how we finally ended the world war,

but i remember my mother was the most worried person about the fight.

she said, it's hard to persuade both of us to talk first since both of us are equally stubborn.

keras kepala+keras kepala= macam ni lah. 

when i was 17, i got another fight with my father.

he was so angry with me until he broke my brother's game-toy.

my father has a very bad tempered. 

but i got lucky since my father never hit me after i enter high school.

he never hit a person when he was angry actually but everything beside him always became the victim of his tempered.

coincidentally, that day my little brother's game-toy was beside him and you know the rest of the story.

but the good thing is the next morning my father brought a new game-toy for my brother.:)

(thanks to me for that okay. he he)

i always quarrel with my family member.

my sisters,my brother,my mother and my father.

to be honest we never say apologize to each other after the fight.

like,today we fight but the next morning we are laughing together again.

there's no need to say sorry.

and that's what family is. 

this video remind me of my father.

my father has the loudest snore in our family.

loud enough to make you feel so annoyed sometimes. 

now, i live miles away from my father and it makes me realize that even with his imperfections i still don't want to miss a moment with him. 

:)

XOXO,

l i l i e  s. j o h n 

the death. appreciate life.

i am a paramedic student.
it was somewhere around November 2009, when i first saw real dead body.
death cause: accident.
when the PPK saw the scull and cut the stomach of the dead body to take out the organ, I'm suffocated with the blood's smell even  i use triple mask. the whole forensic room full with blood's smell.
after the doctor confirm the cause of death,my friend and myself help the PPK to put all the organ back to it's place and stitch the body back to how it was before.

gambar hiasan. tialah canggih betul forensic di kedah ni tapi lebih kurang mcm ni la..

and the effect is;
i can't eat anything at lunch. my lunch look like the organ that i put into the dead body's stomach. the brain, the intestine, the kidney, the lungs and all when it just a chicken and some vegetable.
and worse, that night i can't sleep. i keep thinking about the face of the dead body!!
everytime i try to close my eyes, the face appear!
the next morning i got panda eyes. @.@

three days after that, i got to see two more dead body and i think i'm getting used of it.
i can eat properly and sleep soundly at night too.. 
people are right about the first step is always the most difficult step.
hehehehhe...

sempat senyum before masuk forensic room.

 
unforgettable moment in forensic was last sem. an accident happen on that evening and the victim's head was completely crush by the car's tyre. me and my friend follow the MA to the forensic to confirm the cause of the death. i was surprise when i first saw the victim. it has no head at all. at the end, we decide to help the PPK to fix the victim's face. we gather all the pieces and stitch them until it look like a face. well of course it will be very impossible to make it the same as before but make it look like a human's head at least, said the PPK.  we must do it ASAP since the relative will come and confirm his identity afterward. 
i can hear the wife crying outside. she don't want to take a look at the victim's face to confirm it's identity. so, the brother replace her. i know, i understand her feeling. it's hurt when we lost someone we love. so, please.. to all the driver, INGATLAH ORANG YANG TERSAYANG.

today i almost cried. one of the patient in the ward where i am posting today passed away. 
it's not like i never saw incident like this before but i don't know why, this case leave a deep impact in me. 
the patient was 26 years old. she was admitted yesterday in ward with ventilator on. it's means i never spoke to her or saw her consciously. when she was admitted, she's already unconscious.  a complete stranger.
the husband said she's just fine until the evening when she came back from farm and collapse. she was sent to emergency departure and was intubated. later, the doctor confirm that she had brain infection. it called meningoencephalitis. 

the next day after all the investigation, the doctor confirm that her brain isn't working anymore(brain death). the only reason why she's still breathing is was because of the ventilator machine and all the drug that was given to the patient. there is no hope.
when the doctor explain the whole situation to the husband whether to let her die or continue with the ventilator machine (which we don't know until when it will last), i can see tear on his face. the husband asking for one day to think about it. of course it is hard for him to decide such thing. to let his wife die when she's just fine two days ago. 
but today as he return  they(the husband and all her family) decide to just end her life since there is nothing else we can do. as the doctor explain, i can see tear in the mother eyes. the mother said the patient is her only daughter. she want her to live longer than she is but God love her daughter more than she is. what hurt the most is when the patient just delivered her second child three month ago.
i can feel the sadness most in her husband. the husband eyes was all red, i bet he cried all night thinking about what he should live with the kids without her. i mean she just fine three days ago talking and laughing but now she's gone. 
i prayed the best for the husband and all his family.

it make me realize how we should appreciate our life and other, especially those who we care so much. today we might still be laughing with them, but GOD almighty, we know not what will happen tomorrow.
now, take your phone and text everyone that you care. tell them how much you appreciate them and love them. 

p/s
some of the staffnurse was almost tearing also today. amaze with all the hospital's staff, they saw this kind of incident everyday. i remember one of my teacher said before. whatever happen "life must go on"
to all the doctor and nurses, chayok-chayok!!


XOXO,
l i l i e s. j o h n

coconut, cow and blanket

once upon a time there lived these two brothers (i don't remember their name, so i just called them Eldest and Younger). they were very poor and their father just die.

but before their father die, their father left them with his property and ask them to divide the property properly.

their father's property;

one coconut tree, one cow and one blanket. 

the Eldest was very intelligent while the Youngest was very innocent.

so, the Eldest said,

"as for the coconut tree,i'll let you take the lower part of the tree  because it was very strong which is represent you and it has root going right through the ground and i will take care of the upper part of the mango"

the Youngest thought that 

"brother is so kind that his giving me the big and strong trunk and the root of the tree"

and then the Eldest said

"since you are younger than me, i'll let you have the head and the front of the cow since it's easier to take care of, while the rest of the cow i'll take care of it"

so the Youngest thought.

"owh my brother is so nice that he give me only the head to take care of. and yet he has many things to do"

the Eldest said again,

"as for the blanket, you can have it on daylight so that you can always see the blanket who have given us many memory with our late father, and i will have it on night"

and so the innocent brother thought that his brother is so nice that he even give up the blanket to him on daylight.

so, they both agree to divide their late father property just like that.

so, everyday day the youngest water the coconut tree and take care of it's root while the Eldest collect all it's fruit for himself.

the Youngest also feed the cow since he is responsible for the head of the cow but the one who take the milk of the cow was the Eldest. 

the youngest also keep the blanket with him on daytime without using it and on night the Eldest get to use it since they divide it that way.

as times goes by, the Youngest finally realize how foolish he is for accepting his brother's idea.

so, the next day the Youngest borrow the axe from his neighbour and went to cut the tree but his brother objecting it. but the Youngest said

"i need a wood for fire my food. moreover, the lower part of the coconut tree is mine so that means i can do anything out of my part" 

but the Eldest said

"don't be like that my dear brother, i will share with you the coconut fruit"

so, the Youngest agree and didn't cut the tree.

the next day Youngest stopped feeding the cow and the cow stopped milking. 

when his brother ask Youngest why he stopped feeding the cow,

he said he want to take the head of the cow so that he have something to eat so he doesn't need to feed the cow anymore. but then the Eldest once again convince Youngest to not kill the cow and that he will share the milk with him. 

Youngest agree with the condition and did not kill the cow.

as for the blanket Youngest wash the blanket right before the day become dark everyday so that the Eldest cannot use it on night. 

at last the Eldest had enough and ask his brother to forgive him and later they both share all the work together and all the coconut fruit,cow's milk and even the blanket together.  :)

i've heard this story when i was in kindergarten. it was told in one of the child program (APTA) that i joined at that time. which means i've been keeping this story for almost 16 years now , so if you find the story above a bit weird than what you've heard, please don't mind it.. hehe 

XOXO.

liliejohn

the real winner!

6 years ago, i was just a normal girl.
but i met this hot guy and immediately fell deep in love with him.

i became his secret admirer ever since. 
i've done everything i can just to win him over. 

you have no idea how i worked so hard to turn my self into a gorgeous woman.

i stopped wearing glasses and started to wear lenses. 

from a sandal lover into a high heels addict. 

from a t-shirt fan into a gorgeous dress lover.

from ordinary girl into a young gorgeous woman.

and it's actually work! 
most of my male friends said that I've change a lot and they all like it.

as predicted, if you are a gorgeous woman, it's not too hard to approached the guy that you like. 

i approached him and in no time, we became so close.

many other guy try to approach me but i only look at him.
only him all these time. 

i am pretty sure he know about my feeling for him. 

but still at the end of the day he chose the other girl.

i was crying on my bed every night for 2 weeks after i found out about his new relationship.

it was a huge heartbroken for me. 
like the whole world just fall into pieces.
i've come so far just to have him and still i wasn't the girl he want.

but on the third week, i get the courage to meet the girl and wish "ALL THE BEST" to her.

and right after our graduation day i met the guy for the first time after my heartbroken. 
i shake his hand and said"THANK YOU for taking me where i am today". 

even thou it's hard for me to smile but i am pretty sure it was the sincerest smile i've thrown to him ever since i know him. :)

how many of you have the strength to go and meet your rival and tell him/her 

'ALL THE BEST'??

there is always a competition in our life. 

we are all contestant.

we compete to live.

we compete to be the best

we compete to be loved.

we compete to be rich.

we compete to be the winner.

and sometimes we lose,sometimes we win. 

if we win, people will congratulate us.

but if we lose, we congrats the winner. 

try to accept the fact that we didn't win.

ignorant people say, 

"failure is a failure, no matter how good you are, you are still failure." 

oh is it? 

maybe yes, i mean you have lose in the competition.

but at the end of the day the real winner is the one who can accept his/her failure.

and before i forget, the story above wasn't my life story. 

i adapted it from the recent japanese drama i've been watching.

lol.

actually, i've had a crush long before too. 

but i never get the courage to approach him.

and i didn't change myself into a gorgeous woman of course.

i didn't take the challenge. 

i am a coward back then so, i just watch the guy from far. 

and congratulate them silently. 

so sad. 

that's why i admire the girl in this japanese drama.

 she have the courage to fight for her love. 

the guy doesn't chose her but at least she tried.

she accept the challenge!

and she's a winner for me.

 she win over herself. 

after the failure she didn't end her life or do something stupid but she thanked the guy for making her realize how far she can actually go.

so guys, never be afraid to take the challenges in your life. 

if you win then it's a bonus. 

and if you lose, you can cry as much as you want.

but never think that you are a failure because once you decide to take the challenge, you already are the WINNER!

XOXO,

too much x and o.

WEALTH, SUCCESS and LOVE. i pick LOVE!

And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

my favorite verse. 

i was smiling while typing this post. of course when it comes to love, we all will be smiling. i strongly believe that everyone love to be loved. me too... i really hopes all the people that i love, loves me as well. 

i absolutely agree with this word. 

love is the greatest among all.

even if you have faith and hope but lack of love, it means nothing. 

in life, we must love. not only for your lovers but also for your family, your friends and your country (semangat patriotik kenen hehe). 

there is one story i want to share. 

well, i am pretty sure you guys have heard it many times right?

A woman came out of her house and saw 3 old men with long white 

beard sitting in her frontyard. She did not recognize them. 

She said "I don't think I know you, but you must be hungry. 

Please come in and have something to eat." 

"Is the man of the house home?", they asked. 

"No", she replied. "He's out." 

"Then we cannot come in", they replied. 

In the evening when her husband came in, 

she told him what had happened. 

"Go tell them I am home and invite them in!" 

The woman went out and invited the men in. 

"We do not go into a House together," they replied. 

"Why is that?" she asked. 

One of the old men explained: "His name is Wealth," he said pointing 

to one of his friends, and said pointing to another one, "He is Success, 

and I am Love." Then he added, "Now go in and discuss with your 

husband which one of us you want in your home." 

The woman went in and told her husband what was said. Her husband 

was overjoyed. "How nice!!", he said. "Since that is the case, let us 

invite Wealth. Let him come and fill our home with wealth!" 

His wife disagreed. "My dear, why don't we invite Success?" 

Their daughter-in-law was listening from the other corner of the house. 

She jumped in with her own suggestion: "Would it not be better to 

invite Love? Our home will then be filled with love!" 

"Let us heed our daughter-in-law's advice," 

said the husband to his wife. 

"Go out and invite Love to be our guest." 

The woman went out and asked the 3 old men, 

"Which one of you is Love? Please come in and be our guest." 

Love got up and started walking toward the house. The other 2 also 

got up and followed him. Surprised, the lady asked Wealth and Success: 

"I only invited Love, Why are you coming in?" 

The old men replied together: "If you had invited Wealth or Success, 

the other two of us would've stayed out, but since you invited Love, 

wherever He goes, we go with him. 

Wherever there is Love, there is also Wealth and Success!

so, why do LOVE is important again?? well, the story tells itself! :)

so long and good night..

XOXO,

too much X and O.

THE GOOD little THINGS.

last night, right before i went to bed, i got  a message. it was from my friend.

"my course-mate just committed suicide" 

because this friend of mine use to trick me often,so i initially thought that it was a joke..

"don't joke around la, i am not in a mood for a joke"

"it's true la.. because of stress, and i think you know the person. he was in our ex-college before too" 

i don't really remember if i ever know the person that he mention because there are a lot of student in my ex-college with the same name and of course i won't be able to remember all of them. 

okay, i am not going to write more about the suicidal case today. 

i don't really know the exact story too. 

i only knew it was because of STRESS.

i am on the bed all night and i keep thinking about how powerful stress are. 

seriously guys, negative stress is a tricky killer.

stress can be divided into two, physiology and biology.. 

physiology is more to physical like a tension or something that we learn in physic class. 

the one with the formula T=F/a or whatever.(i use to love it before.... hmmm.)..

the other stress called biology stress. it always connected with our mental health.

both of them are quite important to us.

especially BIOLOGY STRESS. 

never ever underestimate the power of stress in your life. 

it's the silent killer!

remember, for every action there are reaction. 

manage your stress carefully cause once you fail to manage it, it will kill you slowly. 

to those who think he/she has a lot of things to stress with, enrich yourself with knowledge about stress and how to manage it.

and to those who are in the chain of stress,never ever try to give up your life. 

trust me,ending your life is not gonna solve the problem but worsened it. 

my match teacher use to tell us,

 'no matter what your score is, LIFE MUST GO ON.'

and to those who can handle stress very well, help those who can't. 

i remember that day, my friend text me. 

our college are having an event and it quite busy that time (since our class was chosen to handle the food) when i suddenly receive a text from a friend.. 

the text sounded like this.

"i am pathetic, nobody cares about me." 

and i have this bad habit. i don't really reply my friend's message.

especially when i think that it's not really important especially from a friend who used to tease me a lot. and this friends is actually the one who always send me shitty text like 

"hoi, ko pandai pakai heels suda ko ka sekarang?"

"oi, tukar profile picture ko di FB. jan juga terlampau menipu orang di FB!"

i don't know why, that time i just take out my phone and started to choose one of my message draft and forward it. it was actually one of my favorite message in my draft. 

"Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you"

i never check my cellphone after that.. and the next day, this friend was texting me as usual, joking and sometimes sending me some stupid message..

"oi saya dengar-dengar ko cantik sikit sudah dari tu muka ayam saya di rumah"

 me?? well, i enjoyed the funny text a lot but as usual, can only reply his text sometimes.. 

(saya kedekut kredit bah. sama tidak buli layan gila ni kawan saya 1 orang ni lama-lama.. nanti ko ikut gila. hahahhahaha)

but, last night this friend text me again and he said. 

"thank you for the text.. if it wasn't for the text, i will surely be the one who welcome my classmate up there" 

i was a little shock when he tell me about his problem. 

never realize that this bright+crazy friend can be so stress until he was thinking of ending his life.

i actually aware about his family problem and his difficult courses but because of his bright character, funny and always sent me the stupid text, i keep thinking that he won't have any problem with handling stress. 

 it's soooo scary to even think about it! 

can you imagine what would happen if i didn't reply his text like i always do?

now i realize how powerful stress are.. 

stress chose the target randomly. 

stress is also the very silent killer.

but i also realize, how good little things that we do in our daily life can actually save other's life. :)

p/s

jangan malas-malas reply message kawan.. they might really need it.. 

XOXO,

l i l i e j o h n

EXCUSES

my roommates KAK INA was staring at me with a devil smile.. and all my roommates was looking at me with a cynical sight.

"talam dua muka! mulai dari hari ini ko bukan lagi roommates kami! BERAMBUS KO!!!!"

KAK INA was shouting loudly! then, i smile

" kamu ingat kamu 10 orang saya tidak dapat lawan? heh, setakat 10 orang roommate macam kamu ni, saya langsung tidak rasa rugi bertalam dua muka!"..
not even a bit guilty feeling in my face. i never regret it.

and then, i slowly open my eyes.

"i am the bad girl again??? it's my dream but i always become the antagonist! not fair!"
while complaining about my dream my hand are searching for my phone(checking the time. i don't wear watches.)

"owh, it's 9.19 am.. look like i wake up a bit early today"
since i always wake up late on holiday.

then i started to close my eyes again. let's have some dream again. this time i want to be the good heroin. chayok! but, wait.. i feel something wrong. i check the time again.

"9.19 am!!!!!!?"


GOSH! i have to go to church today. AUNTY TANG will pick me at 9.30 am. what is wrong with my alarm clock?? i remember setting it up on 8.40 am last night! or maybe because of the dreamy dream, i just ignore the alarm??
ok, whatever.. in ten minute i have to be ready.
my towel, where is it?? i grabbed my towel and run into the bathroom. MANDI A.S.A.P!
while taking bath, Satan visited me.

"ok, if AUNTY TANG arrived while i was bathing that's means i don't have to go to church, perhaps i can continue my dream! hehe"

i'm looking at the time.
"9.30 am"
owh, i only take 10 minute bathing.. i'm checking outside,
"AUNTY is still not here"
weird, usually she's very sharp.
i took out my churches clothes. i need to iron them. so, i started to iron it. slowly and slowly.

"9.40 am"

My phone ringing while i was still ironing. i didn't look at it but i'm sure it's was AUNTY miscalling me. she always did that to inform her arrival. i take my losyen and all the liquid that i should wrap into my face and body. relax if AUNTY is willing to wait for me, thats means i have to go to church!! tack!
about 9.50 am my phone is ringing.

"shery, are you going to church today?"

it's AUNTY TANG!
did i really want to go to church?? i'll be alone in church today since OYEN and KIKO is not around. should i go?? part of me actually refuse to go to church. can i just worship by myself? i mean i'll read the bible (kunun la mo read bible). promise! but...........

"yes, yes, i'm on my way. SAT!"

i finally decided to go. originally i want to tie my hair but because i don't have enough time i just let it free. before i step out from my dorm my roommates KAK INA who's help me packing, throwing my cellphone into my bag and all, said,

"pucat ni ko SHER." 

huh,PUCAT?? oo ya, of course, i haven't put my lipgloss yet! ok, grab the lipgloss. my hair???? where is the comb? ok. grabbed it!
i run into the gate and entered AUNTY'S car.

"good morning AUNTY. happy sabbath, sorry i'm a bit late today"
a bit late?? it's too late la.. haha

"happy sabbath too shery, having a hard time to wake up arr?"
errr, is it too obvious?? i was smiling.

"hehe, i woke up at 9.20 this morning aunty"

"oowh, i thought i am the one who's late. because just now i drive through your place and i just lalu you know. i pun lupa yang i suda sampai. so i have pusing balik and it take some time"

because there is no U-TURN near my hostel so, it will take some time to go back around if you already pass the hostel.
so,that's means, if AUNTY didn't pass my hostel she might arrive at 9.30am and i might decide to just stayed at my hostel..

it is possible that GOD make AUNTY pass my hostel?? it's like a wake up call.
GOD want me to go to church today. and when i said,
"i woke up late and i don't think can make it"
HE said 
"do not worry I'll manage your time".

i keep smiling along the way to church.
:) smile
:) smile
:) and smile

"dear GOD, sorry for all the excuses that I've made"

XOXO,
too much X and O.