Used To Be

she looked at the clock on the radio. 

it was 9.08 pm and she was driving to somewhere. 

the man sitting beside are not saying a single words since he entered the car.

usually she will try hard finding a topic to talk to. 

but tonight she's not.

she secretly took a glimpse at his face while driving.

he was looking forward toward the road with his serious face.

she remember that she used to love when that serious face become an irritated face because of her unbearable singing while he's driving. 

she used to love driving with him.

there's so much to talk to and to share with him.

she never complain about him not holding her hand in public because she like it more when he's holding her hand while he's driving.

she used to think that there's no place is too far away to drive if she's with him.

but tonight is the road are just so long for her.

she remember the day before.

they are both in the same car.

and both of them are not talking too.

she tried to make a conversation. 

"have you eaten yet?"

but it was replied by the silence. 

"have you taken you bath?"

she tried again.

still no answer. 

nowadays they don't talk much.

but they argue so much.

she told herself as long as she doesn't give up everything will be fine.

she just need to fight.

tonight she's so exhausted and suffocated.

she's been hurting too much. 

suddenly she stop trying.

she decided to go with the flow.

keeping the silence because there's really nothing to share. 

"so this is it the stage of 'comfortable and going downhill' they are all talking about"
she talking to herself and take a deep breath before she pull up the handbrake.  

after an hour they've finally arrived to their destination. 

he took his things off leave without a word. 

and she also continued driving without any words. 

she keep thinking on her way driving home.

how their relationship has change so much during this past few years.
probably staying in a relationship for too long really does make you tired of it.
she was always a fighter.

as the song on the radio was playing,

"say something i'm giving up on you"

she cried her heart out.

because tonight she gave up.

p.s

i finally decided to take my muet this year so i am gonna be practicing my writing skill from time to time konon.  

i hope it won't irritate you.

and i am so bad at grammar so, do comment if i have things i need to make a correction.

majulah english untuk negara. kekeke

XXXX,

 l i l i e j o h  n